I reject Feminism because ….

10500498_10152139320330882_4195208873619264014_nBeen having ideas for some of these ever since the last ridiculous “I need Feminism” campaign. For two reasons I hesitated writing them down, one being that – as explained in this article: http://icecreaminpakistan.com/2014/07/11/the-mcdonaldisation-of-opinions/ – the wording of the original campaign left no space for dissent. Saying “I don’t need Feminism” feels to me like saying “I don’t need jam. I am happy with plain bread.” But Feminism is not an unnecessary sweety, like jam, but rather a disgusting slime that would ruin my bread :P

Secondly, I am worried about ruining my career prospects as Feminism is such a sociatelly accepted ideology that voicing any concern over its tenets makes you an immediate outcast. But hey, people didn’t tear down the Berlin wall, so that I would worry about speaking my mind. And there is a sisterhood out there that needs support, women being bashed by Feminists for thinking critically about the ideology. Nope, I will never be a woman’s woman and support people based on gender, I will always support those who need support, just like people supported me when I was bullied.

He was sitting there in one of THOSE seats.

Not my own writing! Found on “Storypick”, an Indian fb site and the story was asking to be shared ;-)

Humanity over Feminity

He was sitting there in one of THOSE seats.

I don’t know what had come onto me when I brazenly went, tapped on the man’s shoulders, pointed him towards the “LADIES SEATS” sign and asked him to vacate the seat for me. I struggled into my seat and started staring out of the window of the bus.

It was after 5 minutes that I felt the familiar pricking of somebody staring at me and saw it was him. With one agonized look at me he turned away his face. I sat stunned unable to come up with an apt explanation for this exchange and just when I decided to return that hateful staring, did I get the chance to look him up and down. And then I realized what I had done.

His clothes were in a bad state – torn, tattered and patched up at all places. They were splayed with some kind of dirt and there was a faint obnoxious smell to it. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out he was a daily wage labourer. By the tired look on his face, it seemed like he would keel over and faint any minute, if not for the people around him and his male ego keeping him standing straight. He needed that seat more than I did and I took it from him just because I am a woman and deserved to sit in that seat more than he did?

My travel everyday involves transport by a bus and it’s something that I see on regular basis- young, able bodied girls and women making old men to get up from their seats just because they are sitting in the ladies seats. What sort of feminism is this where claiming your rights becomes more important that helping out people who actually need it? I am a hardcore feminist. But my take on feminism does not involve the suppression of the male species. We as women are entitled to equality, not supremacy and definitely not cruelty. Feminism is best served with a hint of compassion.

By Surabhi Sinha

no consent for Laci Green to get anywhere near my children

As they say, no pain, no gain. I sacrificed a night of sleep, but now I finally understand what I did never during all my years of my M.A. in American Litertaure and Culture, why Americans are so fond of home schooling. Before all the great teachers out there now get angry be assured that I am convinced that you are doing great work, passing on your expertise that cannot be acquired by downloading some worksheets off the internet. Great teachers are often the reason why someone becomes interested in a subject and once the flame has been lit, then often proceed to major in that subject at university. My German teacher (grade 7-13) certainly had a huge impact on my passion for reading and writing. Also, despite suffering from constant bullying I always valued my school as a great place of learning and somewhere where I have made life long friendships. I definitely also had teachers that I would disagree with. However, when I learned that the silly girl from the cheap Feminism propaganda video (same old, same old, all critics of Feminism are white, old, male, conservative Fox News nuts) was touring schools in the US to teach sex education to teenagers my jaw dropped. I looked at some of her ‘instructive’ videos and was aghast.

Laci Green Feminist propagandaSo, if she were just another attention craving girl, who makes silly videos on youtube, that get promoted by upworthy because she is very good at flirting with the camera, I would not have wasted much more time on her. But when I learned that a person with such dubious ethics teaches such an important subject to thuosands to teenagers I decided to give her videos a closer look.

Trigger warning, a lot of cleavage to come.

Lacis cleavage

Nope, it isnt just the clothes that are inapropriate for a teacher, it’s the sexy dancing, the fake glasses, sexual make-up, the come-to-bed eyes, the bed room voice, …. She seems like a teacher in a fetish porn video. While she purports to teaching young people that relationships are based in mutual respect, shared values and interests etc. she is presenting herself as the ultimate objectification of women. The whole video would make sense if it was a parody for adults on how NOT to teach sex ed to young people.

Laci Green conclusionI have sent her a tweet asking what the point is of pointing the camera into her cleavage throughout the video. For starters it would be nice to know what the point of the deep cut top is. As I said before, women can wear whatever they want, but you don’t need to be a movie industry profesisonal to be aware that in a film everthing sends out a message, hence why so much money is spent on all aspects. Again, if this was just to get attention, everyone to her own, but since this is aimed at teenagers, I am outraged. She is not only representing herself as a living Barbie, she is teaching young boys and girls to mistrust each other and to basically see their partner as their enemy number one, a person who needs to be put int heir place as soon as he steers of the script in the princess’ head. Laci Green embodies the age of female entitlement! Any young person gets the message that women can act anyway they want, thrust their boobs into a guy’s face and then call him rapey and creepy if he looks at them. There is a reason that the sentence: “You dress like a teacher is not a compliment.” Teachers are supposed to tone it down. They are in the classroom to teach and not to get affirmation from adolescent boys. If a male teacher acted like this he would have been fired a long time ago, but these are the double standards in our society, women can get away with anything. Questioning a man’s behaviour is a noble act, daring to question a woman’s behaviour makes one a woman hater. The last thing adolescent boys need is adult women thrusting their boobs at them. I remember one such teacher well. Actually she wasn’t pretty. She looked like a witch. But she would always wear low cut blouses and and sit on the table and lean over the boys. She made me cringe, just the way that Laci does in the next shot.

assaulty and rapey

Here she explains situations to her young audience that every new couple goes through, especially inexperienced couples. It is interesting how this Feminist (supposed to mean empowering women) only ever speaks about the boys behaviour, the girl is apparently just sitting there and judging him. If he makes a mistake and approaches her not in the way that the princess had dreamed it up, she will not show him understanding and guide him but will tell him that his behaviour is ‘assaulty’ and ‘rapey’. There is a very good reason that these adjectives don’t really exist in the English langauge. Rape and assault are terrible crimes, they are well definded acts. A person cannot behave ‘rapey’. He or she either rapes someone or they don’t. What Laci is doing here is labelling every boy – because e-v-e-r-y boy is clumsy in the beginning – a rapist. She is telling girls that they have zero influence on the development of the relationship between them and the boy. All they can to do is sit there and judge the guy. Laci Green is robbing young women of their agency. In an age in which we have the chance to be equal partners she turns women into fixed objects around whom the men move, filled with fear of making a mistake. I have never seen anyone send out such a harmful message to young people.

sexual pose Laci GreenJust what is the point of this? Does she not get enough attention from men her own age, that she feels the need to turn on teenage boys? I find this whole video – directed at adolescents –  predatory and very much hope that I would be asked for my consent if she wanted to instruct children of mine. I would never give Laci Green that consent! Ths woman would not be allowed anywhere near my children.


These two say it all. This woman is dangerous for young minds.

the danger with Laci GreenPS: If you want to learn about sex, watch this women: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhE0KQ55PRg

PS: If you want to see a teenager, who gives me hope for the next generation, dismantle her rubbish, watch this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T7mfOF9QyQ

Comic relief :D

I am currently trying to wean myself off facebook, for the reasons explained in this article (http://icecreaminpakistan.com/2014/07/11/the-mcdonaldisation-of-opinions/) and write longer opinion pieces here on my blog in the hope of attracting more people who are actually interested in an enlightening debate and not a personal bashing of people who present a different viewpoint. That is made slightly harder by people who message me saying that they value my contributions. However, to make up for the wasted time (that’s how it feels when above things happen once again) I will share some of the more bizarre things here. Of course with the names and pictures blocked out. I have no interest in shaming or ridiculing anyone personally. Even though some people have already taken to writing in the comment section of articles: “Don’t read Karen’s comments. They are [enter random insult] I have no desire to imitate that sort of behaviour.

patriarchy is paying me I should put my reply into the ‘about me’ section of my blog, so that no one has to wonder any longer which patriarchal organisation is paying me.

woman accuses me of being Muslim What made this lady think i am a Muslim I do not know. My cover picture in front of badshahi mosque? At least when I was there, being Muslim was no prerequisite for visiting. Maybe I had mentioned that I am taking seminars at university on Islam? The idea that only Muslims should learn about the religion is a rather strange one to me.

Third world problems?

 First world problems: A year ago ago Earl Silverman hanged himself because after sacrificing all of his personal money and time for 20 years to run a shelter for abused men he was once again denied funding by the Candadian government and had to file for bankruptcy. Since the government believes that we live in a patriarchy people wanting to help battered men are seen as attention seekers, as obviously in a patriarchy men oppress women and the very idea of men needing a safe place from abusive women is just laughable.

men's sheltersI had known about Earl before but happened to be reminded of him in a video that I was watching on youtube, thinking that here is one of the faces to the high statistics of men who committ suicide. He sacrificed his life in the pursuit if helping others, enduring constant ridicule from individuals and from the authorities. The next morning I wake up to see a facebook status from a Pakistani women who feels ridiculed because a businessman wanted a male witness present when installing the fridge that he was about to sell her. Instead of thinking about what motivated him to think this way and act like that she claims that the cure for her problem will be a system under which she can buy as many fridges as she wants and this man and every other man will be ridiculed to the point where they just give up, as men are doing these days in every country where this system has been successfully installed. I was hesitating for a moment when I wanted to comment. Previous experience had shown me that the aim of her social media activity was not enlightening debate but self-affirmation. After she had asked me to transcribe a youtube video for her as she is apparently not using a proxy server I had sacrificed my sleep in order to aid her but then never heard back from her. Apparently the information from the video did not gel with her ideology and there was no easy way for her to attack what had been said in the video. Next thing I saw her sharing these condescending drawings, that portrayed women like imbeciles, and call them powerful. So, I sort of gueesed what was going to happen. But then again, I thought, the point of my facebook friend list is not to have people displayed there with whom I cannot talk, so I’ll just give it a go. My comment, that Feminism was not the solution to her problem was apparently the the worst personal attack that anyone could committ on her. As I said earlier, I had not known that blocking people who challenge your assumptions was a thing, but this is what promptly happened.

 Third world problems:

Men wanted male witness for refrigerator installation- CopyThere is so much wrong with this statement that I don’t even know where to begin with. “well-off young ladies in the West” – So this is her idea of the people who disagree that Feminism is the solution to her problem. I Ido not know how old she is but this statement reeks of naivite. Feminism is a rich white women’s movement, hence why many poorer women oppose it. The most popular anti-Feminist on the web, Karen Straughan from Canada, works as a waitress. I very much doubt that she is well-off. I myself would be classed as poor in Germany. I had to scrap all my savings together to buy the flight ticket when I visited Pakistan. I tend to think that educated Pakistanis are very well aware that most people in the ‘West’ aren’t well off. But then I also tend to think that most women would laugh at the idea that men are born with a desire to oppress women and yet this view is not only voiced by individuals but determines government policies around the globe.

Michelle Obama is a feminist nightmare? You’re goddamn right she is!


Great article by Janet Bloomfield on racism in Feminism

Originally posted on judgybitch:

This is Michelle Cottle, a delightfully deluded and viciously misogynist contributor at Politico, who writes that First Lady Michelle Obama has betrayed the sisterhood by caring about her husband, her children, food for the nation’s children (all of them), wounded soldiers and … gasp! Literacy!

The ability to read?

Who needs that?

Here, finally, was an issue worthy of the Ivy-educated, blue-chip law firm-trained first lady, a departure from the safely, soothingly domestic causes she had previously embraced. Gardening? Tending wounded soldiers? Reading to children? “She essentially became the English lady of the manor, Tory Party, circa 1830s,” feminist Linda Hirshman says.

Let’s think this through, shall we?

Michelle cares about her husband.michelle-obama-thumb-2-1

Michelle’s husband Barry works long hours, travels extensively, shoulders a wee bit of responsibility, and faces down some formidable opposition to his ideas about how to do his job. He answers not to an immediate superior, but…

View original 1,249 more words

Anything more oppressive than being locked up?

men in prisonThe woman in me is happy that I only have a 1 in 111 chance of getting locked up within my lifetime, even a lot less likely than women in general while white men are not that much less likely to be locked up than men in general, who have an extremely high likelihood of ending behind bars. Seems that the meaning of while male privilege is that they enjoy the privilege of an almost guaranteed stay behind bars. While Feminists keep flogging the dead horse of the nonexistent wage gap, I have never seen them advocate against the sentencing gap.

wage gap